“I will NEVER be a Bridezilla!” Give it a couple of months, a few deposits paid, and a “to-do” list with no end in sight and all of a sudden… we’ve got ourselves a Bridezilla.
There is one key word when it comes to not turning into Bridezilla: DELEGATE. Whether you are having a big wedding or a small, intimate one, there is a lot that will need to get done. The reason why a bride hesitates to delegate wedding planning tasks is usually one of two things: either she doesn’t want to burden other people, or she wants to have control over every little thing. Trust me when I say that people want to help! After reading these five tips, you can let go of your tight grip of control and rest assured knowing that your wedding is in good hands.
5 Ways to Successfully delegate wedding responsibilities:
1. Identify your priorities. Take a couple of minutes to figure out what your top priorities are. These are the things that you should personally be responsible for (with your fiancé’s input of course!). If photography is one of the most important things to you, allow yourself the time to research and choose which photographer you want. If you want a certain venue theme, then put the time into finding the one that fits perfectly with your vision. It’s important that you spend time on the things that you value the most, and then allow others to help you with the other tasks that aren’t as high of a priority.
2. Identify the groom’s priorities. It’s an unfortunate assumption that the groom wants nothing to do with the wedding planning and is only capable of only the easiest wedding tasks. The real problem is that the groom typically doesn’t choose what he wants to help with… he either gets told what to do or gets ignored all together. Just like you identified what was most important to you, have him do the same. If he is good with numbers, put him in charge of updating the budget spreadsheets. If he is interested in what food is served, have him research the caterers. If he is interested in graphic design, have him design your wedding website. He can be in charge of planning the honeymoon too! There are many ways to get the groom involved, but it’s important that you find out what’s important to him.
3. Recruit your talent. Chances are, you have a lot of talented friends who are more than willing to help you. All you have to do is ask! Think about who has skills in the areas that you need help with and chances are, they’ll enjoy the task you assign them to do.
4. Be Specific. Know what you want and communicate that with the people who are helping you. It will be frustrating for the person who is helping you if there is not enough direction given for a task. If you make this mistake, chances are it won’t turn out anything like you were imagining and neither of you will be very happy. Show them pictures to help provide a clear idea of what you want. You are responsible for providing the goods and guidance, while they help with the services.
5. Make it Fun. If you have anything DIY or need help assembling wedding invitations, have a craft party and those DIY escort cards will be done before you know it! It’s not a party without food and drink, so provide the fun atmosphere and they’ll be more than happy to help you out.
Most importantly: Express your gratitude. This is SO IMPORTANT. These people are spending their time and effort helping you so be sure to let them know how much you appreciate them! A hand written thank you card, a free coffee or a shoutout on social media goes a long way. Don’t take their help for granted!
What to do when a task you delegate doesn’t get done right or doesn’t get done at all. This hopefully won’t happen to you if you’ve followed the 5 steps above, but in the case that it does, DON’T PANIC. If the task doesn’t turn out the way you were imagining, it may be that you have to accept help over perfectionism. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that nobody is going to notice if a stamp is crooked. If it is something that is a bigger deal to you, apologize for the misunderstanding, clarify what you want and ask if they would be willing to try again. When a task you delegated isn’t getting done at all, they most likely either forgot about it or have no interest in doing it. Send a gentle reminder or make the call to delegate them a new task that they might be more likely to enjoy.
Here are some ideas of tasks to delegate to friends and family (to make your life a lot easier!)
- If it’s still early in the planning process, create a Pinterest board that will allow your friends to pin ideas that go with your theme.
- Ask past brides if they have anything in storage that could be reused for your wedding.
- Trust your fashionista friend’s sense of style and have her put together some looks for your bridal party.
- Put a group of friends in charge of making list of songs for the cocktail hour or reception.
- Delegate the task of putting together restroom amenity baskets.
- Have a local friend or family member put together a welcome bag that provides out of town guests with a snack or refreshment, a map, and a selection of restaurants and things to do in the area.
- Ask a friend in graphic design to design the Save the Dates or ceremony programs.
- Appoint a friend with an organized, Type A personality to be the day-of wedding coordinator.
- Get some people committed to help with the decoration set-up/tear down
- Last, but not least, appoint a few of your friends to get out on the dance floor when the music starts and get the party started!
These are some of the tasks that my friends and family helped me with to make my wedding planning less stressful. I am so thankful for the time and effort that people spent to make my wedding day absolutely perfect!
This homemade blueberry jam was a HUGE hit as a wedding favor!
What are your thoughts or experiences with delegating wedding tasks?? If you’re in the middle of planning a wedding and need some advice, I’d be happy to help!